Today

I have woken up feeling horrible – mind you, I went to bed feeling horrible. I’ve been upset for about a week I guess. Even just thinking about it makes me want to cry. Actually, scrap that, I just want to cry anyway. What I really want I can’t have, yet everyone else seems to have it. And I shouldn’t go on about it, I just can’t stop thinking about it. But it will happen.

However, I did graduate this week:

It was OK, a bit boring but the people who had made my uni experience horrible weren’t there so it wasn’t too bad. Was a bit isolated though.

I have started volunteering again at Worthing Museum, which I really enjoyed. I love the museum. Although yesterday I was only doing admin jobs, I had a lot of fun and the curators are fighting over me!!

It’s Friday

I’m finding it a little harder to keep smiling today. I feel lonely and sad. I wonder if it is just a reaction to my new dosage? I don’t know. I just know that I would really like a hug and a good cry.

I am still having panic attacks. I have had 2 today, I had 2 yesterday and I had 3 the day before. All bar one were at home. As I expected, it is going to be a struggle to conquer this. However, even though my mood has slipped today, I will not be defeated, I will win this war.