Blues on the Bus

I had to pop into the village today to post a parcel off to my brother and so because I’m having an extremely lazy day I opted for the bus. My justification for using the bus was I need to conquer the bus like I did the train, which I successfully did. However, I did feel very panicky and very alone. So so alone. Made me want to cry, and part of me still does want to cry. But I did it, I got on the bus and the stuff is off to London for Rob. I have to write my panic attack diary too, but I might leave that until later because that might set me off, it is so depressing, but needs to be done I guess.

Meh

Well, I didn’t manage anything today. I didn’t meet Ann or Pippa. I guess I will see Chris, but no one else. I feel awful. I’m letting people down, I’m letting myself down. I had to nap, but don’t feel any better for it. The smallest thing is annoying me. I hate feeling like this. When will I get better? Dad wants me to cling on to the fact the doctor has said I will make a full recovery. That is easier said than done when I struggle to see anyone, I feel tired, ill and grumpy. I don’t mean to keep complaining. Here are some positive things from today:

-The sun is shining

-Rob didn’t put the telly on when I was asleep in the front room

-I’ve read loads of my book

-God loves me

I must try and hang on to those I guess. At least I’m not hiding in a corner I suppose, just my house.