Cold

OK, I am freezing. I cannot believe just how cold it is! Although it has been snowing, so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. I’m sat in the study trying to work – I chose this room as it has the least amount of distractions, and it is probably the coldest room in the house. Mind you, does mean I won’t fall asleep.

Was my birthday on Saturday – turned 22! Crazy. I do not feel that old! Chris’ family came across and we went to Brighton Marina and had a nice lunch. Didn’t do anything with my family. None of my brothers came home and Dad was at work. In fact, I am cross with my brothers – not one of them has sent me a card or a present. Grr. Makes me angry as they would go mad if they didn’t receive a present or if their wives didn’t.

I no longer work Wednesdays! Yay! That is a relief, means I won’t have the stress of having to get from university to work. I haven’t done much uni work this week – had no concentration to think of. Although it hasn’t helped that I couldn’t get the books I needed out of the library. Aw well, I will be in early tomorrow so can do some reading then. At the minute I will have to make do with Google! Am researching about Booker T. Washington and black segregation in America at the moment

Got work later – not motivated at all! Probably because I think it is egg sandwiches tonight – yuck! The poor residents. Well if they want it :-S I don’t understand why they would but hey ho! Need Chris to let me know how I am getting home from work later too – although trains are running many are cancelled and most are delayed. Just need him to text/email me. I am hoping he will come and get me!

Oh, and I hate the bank. Nearly crying but never mind.

A New Week

Just sat watching Strictly Come Dancing, I love it!! Although the boy’s group dance was a bit rubbish.

It has been a good weekend. Went up to Gloucester to see Graham and Jo, and had a lovely time. We went round the Cathedral and to the Docks, it was warm and fun. My brother is so cool It was lovely seeing their new home and spending time with them. The drive was boring though! Both Chris and I had a great time.

My panic attacks haven’t been too bad this week. It has been really helpful having something productive to do. I’ve had a lot of university work to keep me occupied and it has really helped I think. I’ve had a few but not nearly as bad as they have been.

A load of books have arrived this week, yay! About 8 have arrived! So much reading to do It will definitely keep me busy when I’m not studying! Check out my really long TBR list on http://katemarsh.wordpress.com

I’m still not sure what I’m going to do about work because the doctor still wants me off sick and I have such a bad medical record that I think people will be reluctant to employ me. Will need to do a lot of praying. Suzy and Becky prayed for me at church earlier, now I’m putting it in God’s hands and trusting him with the whole situation.

So far all this week has in store for me in university tomorrow. I’m sure that I’ll have a lot of studying to do though. It is all good.

It is really nice to feel good and positive and happy, makes a nice change! Here is a-hoping it lasts!

Being more positive

Ya no what, all I seem to do on here is complain, so I need to stop doing that. Yes, I am ill, but my life isn’t that bad. It is too easy to complain and moan, and that is a dangerous thing, it can consume life and make me withdrawn and unpleasant to be around. James 3:5-8 says:

So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. 7For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil,full of deadly poison.

I think those words are so true, we must watch what we say and how we let words consume us. So I’m going to try to be more positive. Like I’ve said before, life is not that bad. I have a wonderful family who support me, a gorgeous boyfriend who loves me and wants to look after me and great friends, whether online or off, who are concerned about me and pray for me. Although I am unsure of what the near future holds, I got my 2:1 so am going to do my Master’s and the occupational health process is going, so what will happen about work will soon be sorted I’m sure. I even managed 10 minutes in the church service yesterday, not downstairs watching the video link, which is a huge step for me.

I have had a panic attack today, but Chris was there to look after me and I got through it. It isn’t nice, and I want to get better, but a defeatist attitude, like the one I had just the other day will not help me. I feel better today that I have done in a while, despite panicking. Things are going to get better, I will make a full recovery.