Bored & Fed Up

Haha story of my life at the moment. Just sitting around…waiting…
I still dunno what I will be doing for the rest of the year. Now my contact time at university has finished I need a full time job. Of course that is easier said than done considering I haven’t ventured back to work yet. I know I’m on holiday now instead of off sick, but I dunno if I’m ready for work. The idea scares me….And I’m waiting for other stuff too (I am trying to be patient…!), it is just hard.
I’ve been feeling so depressed recently too. Maybe it is because I’m a touch bored, but I just feel low, unhappy…just pants generally. I could happily sleep my time away – hiding in bed, sounds wonderful.
Although not sure I would sleep, I don’t appear to at night. I woke up every two hours last night, each time following a nightmare. This sucks. I’m amazed I haven’t slept this afternoon. I can’t believe I’ve gone back to being an insomniac. At some point soon I will just crash.
Urgh I just feel so crap. I could cry….

Signed Off Again

Yep, can you believe it? I’m off sick again for two weeks. Hopefully that will be long enough to get better. I should use the time to get on with university work really – however I have spent the time reading New Moon by Stephanie Meyer – so good!
I’m having nightmares again I don’t know why. Lack of sleep isn’t making me feel good. My head is throbbing continuously. Oh, and the doctor told me the outbreak on my hand is eczema, yippee.
The panic disorder, lack of sleep and continual feeling rough is making me feel quite low. I could have cried for hours yesterday, and am not feeling much better today. Urgh I just want to get better. I want Chris to be here too, to look after me.

Ouch!

Oh my word, I am in pain! My wisdom teeth are coming through, and it really hurts! Aw well, will just take some pain killers. Although mixed with period pain and my skin problem, it is no wonder my panic has been bad the past couple of weeks.

However, anxiety being so high means I have missed quite a bit of university, which is never good. One of my tutors wants to see me about it but I can’t make the time he suggested and he hasn’t got back to me *shrugs* so I dunno.

Spent yesterday in Fleet with Chris’ family. There was a mini party for his sister Wendy as it is her birthday this week. It was good to see them all. His parent’s flat is so nice! I’d happily live there!

Well I have decided what I want to write my dissertation on: How Brighton is portrayed in literature. Woo, more reading! Man I have an addiction….! Never mind, I don’t think it is a bad thing!

Ow, ow, ow, my mouth really hurts I’m going to go feel sorry for myself whilst reading an article for Wednesday’s seminar. Hehe if I get a lot done this morning, I might be able to just relax with Chris this evening and not do any work! Hopefully I’ll get some done at work this afternoon, I’ll just have to work quickly!